Zack: "Honey, have you seen the baby? I put him down next to the lemon juicer and...OH MY GOD!"
Steve: Turbofan and arms needs to be the next phase of hip-hop bling.
Zack: Baby S-ton got the buzzing chain round my neck, solid gold arms clutching my birth certificate. Yall drink this juice.
Steve: Throw open ya house got to check its ta code!
Zack: Cubes and pentagons and shit running all up in this getting they hoof prints all over...ho ho bitch hang on is that railing to code?? Get your sphere ass over here and explain to me where this mothafuckin ground wire goes before my neck starts spinnin.
Steve: Juice flyin out my baby head if yall mess up my staircase.
Zack: Shit I will fuck up your eye. Make it water. Make that water so bad make you roll a new face.
Steve: 2x4 every three feet what the heck creepy penis dude. You know how we roll in N-town.
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.