Zack: You know how when you're like eight and you've got an older brother or friend who has had some small amount of sex experience and he keeps talking about all these things you can't conceptualize? Like you picture a rubber as an eraser and a vagina as a cartoon black hole on a woman's stomach.
Steve: Yeah. I saw a picture in Keith's dad's Hustler one time and it had a vagina and a butt hole in the picture and I thought the vagina was where the baby came out and the butt hole was where the pee came out.
Zack: Yeah, that sort of thing. This is what I bet girls picture a dude's donk looking like when their older friend tells them about it.
Steve: You really thought this one through.
Zack: It's just what came to mind.
Steve: I mean, I get your point, but it's like all about kids thinking about weiners and stuff.
Zack: I'm saying us when we were kids.
Steve: Yeah, but then you went on to the girls thinking about weiners and I don't know. It's just a little weird is all I'm saying.
Zack: Fuck you, Steve!
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.