Steve: This was the dude from Planescape.
Zack: I rolled a face!
Steve: Aw, man, I rolled eye and wing and arm and leg.
Zack: Hold on a second. According to the text these guys are archers "capable of wielding 2 bows at the same time." How!?
Steve: Maybe when he's flying he can hold the bows with his feet and shoot them with his hands. What I want to know is how they have intercourse.
Zack: Have you ever seen a computer defrag?
Steve: I'm not into that sort of thing, dude.
This Week on Something Awful...
Will The Last Jedi Answer Fan Questions About the Origins of Female Ejaculation?
Star Wars fan speculation has been swirling about the source of female ejaculation. The answers might finally be coming with the Last Jedi.
How to Determine the Authenticity of This Authentication Guide
Lean in close to your screen. Inhale deeply. Does this guide give off a cloyingly sour odor? Then it is likely the genuine article.
Japanese Box Art Is Always Better
One dozen koalas in baseball uniforms. This is the Japanese box art for Red Steel.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 2)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 1)
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