Steve: This was the dude from Planescape.
Zack: I rolled a face!
Steve: Aw, man, I rolled eye and wing and arm and leg.
Zack: Hold on a second. According to the text these guys are archers "capable of wielding 2 bows at the same time." How!?
Steve: Maybe when he's flying he can hold the bows with his feet and shoot them with his hands. What I want to know is how they have intercourse.
Zack: Have you ever seen a computer defrag?
Steve: I'm not into that sort of thing, dude.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.