Steve: This was the dude from Planescape.
Zack: I rolled a face!
Steve: Aw, man, I rolled eye and wing and arm and leg.
Zack: Hold on a second. According to the text these guys are archers "capable of wielding 2 bows at the same time." How!?
Steve: Maybe when he's flying he can hold the bows with his feet and shoot them with his hands. What I want to know is how they have intercourse.
Zack: Have you ever seen a computer defrag?
Steve: I'm not into that sort of thing, dude.
This Week on Something Awful...
The Men Must Pay for What They Did to the Footballs
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
Who the Hell is Buying Rolos?
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
TV Sports Graphics!
*Galaxies and stars explode, revealing the Sports Center logo as the center of the new universe.*
Make Sitcoms Worse!
'Sitcoms are so bad that they couldn't GET any worse haha.' 'Whoa buddy you're wrong... dead wrong!'
Pocket Products!
Not pocket-SIZED products, but actual pockets for your socks, underwear. Cover your body in pockets!
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 2)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 1)
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