Zack: I've got nothing bad to say about this guy.
Steve: He is dapper as heck!
Zack: He looks very human, "Save for [his] 12-foot tall size, the horns jutting from the sides of [his] bald head, an the long prehensile tail ending in a mace-like ball." So he looks nothing like a human.
Steve: Slice you open on those eyebrows.
Zack: He seems like he should have a bow tie.
Steve: I would like to note that this guy is a total badass. He has a ton of hit points and all sorts of powers.
Zack: Not to mention a legion of flying balls with faces.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.