Zack: I've got nothing bad to say about this guy.
Steve: He is dapper as heck!
Zack: He looks very human, "Save for [his] 12-foot tall size, the horns jutting from the sides of [his] bald head, an the long prehensile tail ending in a mace-like ball." So he looks nothing like a human.
Steve: Slice you open on those eyebrows.
Zack: He seems like he should have a bow tie.
Steve: I would like to note that this guy is a total badass. He has a ton of hit points and all sorts of powers.
Zack: Not to mention a legion of flying balls with faces.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.