One Size Fits All Award

Steve: What's wrong with a giant centipede? That's a solid monster.

Zack: I agree. Centipedes are creepy as hell. A giant one makes for a great monster. That's why they included it in the first Monster Manual.

Steve: Ohhhh, yeah, I remember that.

Zack: Yeah, this is some bullshit right here. A "huge" and a "megalo" centipede.

Steve: That's still not so bad. Maybe your group likes fighting centipedes but the giant ones aren't tough enough so you use the megalo ones. Those are bigger, right? I know huge is smaller, but I don't remember megalo on my size chart.

Zack: I'm not sure, but to help you figure things out they have cleverly given you the size for the creatures: Small and Medium. So the huge is small and the megalo centipede is medium.

Steve: How big is the giant centipede?

Zack: Small.

Steve: So it's the same size as the huge one?

Zack: No, that one is twice as big. One foot long versus six inches.

Steve: So the giant centipede is six inches long?

Zack: The huge centipede is six inches.

Steve: Maybe I'll stick to regular sized centipedes. How big are they?

Zack: Big. There were some huge ones at my old apartment. I saw an enormous bastard climbing up the wall once.

Steve: An enormous one? How big was that?

Zack: Like two or three inches. What's that in D&D sizes?

Steve: Tiny.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.