"You're, Like, Blowing My Mind, Man" Award
Steve: Hell yeah, this dude rules. He's one of those monsters you forget about and then you're just flipping around looking for some sort of random encounter or something and you're like, "Wait, what is this dude?" And then you read that part about him using illusions to make it look like he's turned when he's actually getting small and coming right for you and your mind totally is blown and you have to use him in an encounter.
Zack: More like they were playing D&D one time and the DM used a wraith and he was a huge asshole so when the cleric turned him he acted like it worked and then level-drained the shit out of the party and spent the next twenty minutes yelling about how it was an optical illusion. And by "DM" I mean Gary Gygax did this to his group in Lake Geneva and almost got a folding chair thrown through his bay window.
Steve: So if it's just a wraith then why not just include that in an updated entry for the wraith in the first Monster Manual?
Zack: Are you seriously asking that after we just got done with the centipede bullshit? D&D is one step away from palette swapping monsters and reusing them. Hell, they actually did that with gray ooze and green slime and ochre jelly and black pudding and on and on.
Steve: Totally different stuff you just listed. A gray ooze is an animal, a slime is a type of mold. Just to name one.
Zack: That is an amazing point. Great point, Steve. Totally different organisms.
Steve: It's like if you're making a peanut butter and jelly you don't use marmalade you put that on an English muffin or jam on a biscuit. There's a place you put each of them.
Zack: But where do you put a gelatinous cube?
Steve: In a doorway.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.