Zack: Steve, I think we need to take a minute to talk about devils, demons, and dinosaurs.
Steve: Sure. Three sweet things that totally rule. Continue.
Zack: Rule or not, don't you think that they're a bit of a crutch in these books?
Steve: What? No way!
Zack: The first Monster Manual had seven or eight pages of dinosaurs and so does this book. The same with the devils. There are even more demons, plus a whole new type of thing called "daemons" that are just demons with an "a" added in to give them more pomp and circumstance I guess.
Steve: Supply and demand, buddy.
Zack: What does that even mean!?
Steve: We live in a Christian nation. The Founding Fathers had it in the Constitution.
Steve: In God We Trust.
Zack: That's money.
Steve: Praise God.
Zack: No, definitely not.
Steve: My point is for America the monsters we fear are devils and demons. The bad guys of Christianity. But they can't just come right out and use Satan so they use all these other dudes like titivilus and moloch. Those are real guys.
Zack: Real mythological.
Steve: Yeah, right. And of course dinosaurs, those just rule and are real not even myth. So you can see why people would be clamoring for more of both.
Zack: TSR has to give them what they want.
Zack: More giant herbivores from the Triassic and a confusing web of hell's minor royalty?
Steve: I'm glad I'm not you. I can't imagine the point of living without being able to enjoy a camptosaurus.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.