Zack: Is this how this dude relaxes? In a suit of spiky skull armor on his techno throne?
Steve: That dude is Karl Prosek, ruler of the Chi-Town Empire and leader of the Coalition. He's probably watching a parade or something.
Zack: Chi-Town? Like Chicago?
Steve: No, Chicago was destroyed, it's more like somewhere south of that. They built a new city.
Zack: A new city named after one of Chicago's most annoying nicknames?
Steve: I guess, look, that's not the point. The point is this all takes place like 80 years after the apocalypse that unleashed the rifts on earth and opened earth up to other dimensions. And the Coalition is the ruling power in a big part of America. And it's like the evil United Nations.
Zack: So like the current United Nations?
Steve: I don't know, I don't follow politics. Do they have skull helmets and do they kill magic users?
Zack: I'm going to go with yes to both.
Steve: Then the Coalition must be based on them. It's an alliance of human empires being commanded by Chairman Prosek and the Chi-Town Empire.
Zack: And they all have skull helmets?
Steve: Not just skull helmets. They wear evil uniforms and then in combat they wear power armor called Dead Boy Armor and it has skull helmets so you can tell the rank.
Zack: Ah, so they're Nazis. Or at least the caricature of them that would be in the Village People.
Steve: Yeah, it talks about Hitler in the book. That Karl Prosek is like Hitler.
Zack: That sounds like an American ruler alright. As you should know all American leaders are Hitler.
Steve: I don't follow politics much, like I said. Does Obama have a skull helmet?
Zack: Again, gonna go with yes on that.
Steve: That pretty much totally rules.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.