The Coalition Ethos and Aesthetic
Zack: Now that's just obnoxious. We get it! You love death!
Steve: Skulls are the primary building block of the Coalition. Pretty much their whole empire is skull-based. You name a mode of transportation and it has skulls.
Zack: Well I guess I don't have to name flying loaf of skull bread on a UFO.
Steve: Flying skull motorcycles. Skull tanks. They even have a walker that's just a skull with big cannons on it.
Zack: These guys are starting to piss me off.
Steve: They should, they're sorta the bad guys of Rifts.
Zack: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Love Hitler. Skulls on everything. Never would have guessed.
Steve: Well, they're human though, so they aren't as evil as like the Splugorth.
Zack: I'm not even going to ask.
Steve: Yeah, that's a whole other issue, but they're the guys on the cover.
Zack: Okay, so what does the Coalition believe in?
Steve: They hate magic. And extra dimensional creatures. Pretty much anything that came through a Rift. And drugs.
Zack: Are they also wasting billions a year in a war against people smoking a harmless plant?
Steve: No, they hate Juicers. They are like extreme sports guys in football padding who inject drugs and then fight like berzerkers.
Zack: I bet he is tough as hell as long as he doesn't have to bend or change positions.
Steve: The Coalition also hate magic cities and usually is bombing them or skirmishing.
Zack: Magic cities?
Steve: Like Tolkeen.
Zack: Oh fuck off.
Steve: No, that's what it's called!
Zack: I don't believe you.
Steve: Fine, don't, but they released like ten books about a war between the Coalition and Tolkeen.
Zack: Okay, okay. So they hate steroids and Gandalf. What do they like?
Zack: Besides Skulls.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.