Zack: "It's simple, you just put your gold pieces in this slot and then the machine spits out A-rated traunches of gnome debt obligations that are at high risk of default, but don't worry because you also receive credit default swaps that will cover any losses you might sustain if the CDO defaults, allowing for arbitrage equilibrium. In other words, this is the perfect investment."
Steve: I usually defend TSR on the racism angle, but this one is really pushing the limit.
Zack: Gnomes are big-nosed greedy illusionists that use their trickery to take money from hardworking humans and elves. I think we both know that TSR is making a veiled reference to half-orcs here.
Steve: If the rocks have a permanent illusion spell cast on them to make you think they're gems, does it really matter if they're rocks?
Zack: And in the grand scheme of things, aren't gems just rocks that we have arbitrarily decided have a value?
Steve: No, you roll their value on a random treasure chart, so it's not arbitrary.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.