Steve: I can't find a single thing wrong with this one.
Zack: As long as you bring plenty of wood to keep that giant plume of smoke going nobody will ever be able to track you.
Steve: All you need to fool the ranger is the sweeper part, the rest of it is just to mess with the ranger's head.
Zack: "Hmmmm...it seems like an owlbear is walking backwards, but when I follow the tracks they stop right at the guys I am looking for, which is confusing to me."
Steve: The next time I make a ranger character I am picking douchebag track-hiding machines as my favored enemy.
Zack: "Alright, Carlos, stop pulling. I want to change out the Storm Giant feet for the Crabman feet. Give me about two hours to change them out. Why don't you stomp over there and cut us some wood so we can continue to conceal ourselves from the ranger."
Steve: We could cross this river or we could start pulling around this giant steam-powered foot-stomping machine.
Zack: But we definitely can't do both, because no way are we getting this thing across the river.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.