Zack: Opie & Anthony react to 3 Skeletons 4 Buckets only at the O&A Army HQ with Ron & Fuzz & Booper & Deets, plus Big Paulie, Skoodge, Lady, and Big Booper!
Steve: Forget about laundry, I just want to climb into that thing and hang out with these skeleton dudes. They look like they know how to have a good time.
Zack: They do look suspiciously fun-loving for undead.
Steve: I'd climb down there and be like, "Waddup, boners!? Got some Red Stripes and White Castles, let's get this party started."
Zack: And then with single-minded purpose they would attempt to wash you.
Steve: Nah, I'd give them some bras and stuff to mess with while we were hanging out.
Zack: What I have gleaned from this image is that skeleton is to necromancer as pterodactyl is to Flintstone.
Steve: Oh, dang, you're right. I bet the necromancer has a phonograph that is a skeleton playing a record with his finger bone in the groove and a skeleton coat rack covered with evil robes and skull hats.
Zack: Skeletons would probably be good at opening cans. Necromancers must have it made.
Steve: You know, necromancers are like the only kind of wizard that wears a uniform. Evokers? Conjurers? Those guys all look about the same, but if you're a necromancer you've always got to strap on skulls and wear black robes.
Zack: Yeah, but if you capture one you have to treat him according to the Geneva Convention. You can do anything you want to an evoker. Anything...
Steve: I think it's just stereotypes. Just once why can't the necromancer be a really nice dude who dresses nice?Zack: How nice? White tie nice or business casual nice?
Steve: I'd be happy with some jams and a t-shirt.
Zack: A skull t-shirt? Evil jams?
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.