Dave: Uh, le mind of me = epic blown? If I flip that tie aside, will I be confronted with an anus? Lolcat.

Zack: Bartman shot web. And yes, I mad, mostly about that thing on the head that's like hair...POWER LEVEL 9000!!!!

Bro, when I spied that Brian Setzer pompo, I simultaneously ragefaced and facepalmed, then ragequit.

Zack: Lulz kill it with chestass! Stirrup pants desu...like Ike.

Dave: Carefagging out on that floating collar. Not sure if care? Fagmad? Lolquit.

Zack: All your driving gloves are belong to trollin' face.

Dave: Sunglasses much? Google Ron Paul.

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About This Column

Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.

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