Epilogue - The Coldest of Wars
Daring had just finished having sex with Maude again, this time with her sister too, when the door to the farm house was flung open. In walked none other than the hero of communism, complete with cape and suit of armor.
"You may have defeated Hitler and Hirohito but you will never best me you capitalist pig dog!" Stalin drew a saber, honorably throwing another saber to Sergeant Armstrong. "En Garde!"
A sword fight happened! There was a lot of clanging and jumping around and the girls screamed and ran out wrapped in sheets while Stalin and Armstrong jumped on the bed and fought each other and then they jumped on the table knocking food everywhere. It was a mess!
"Uncle Sam believes in the Bible and capitalism you heathen, and I'm going to show you why!"
"I dare you to try American fool!"
Then after a while they sort of got tired of sword fighting and decided to take a nap. Then Stalin had to go because it was late and his wife would be mad if he came home after she was already in bed. Stalin and America's Sergeant Armstrong agreed to disagree.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
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