Welcome back, Adverse Interests, LLC. you are now logged in. Thank you for choosing FIST for your staffing needs. We hope OPERATION ASTRO PANIC went well!
You have 5 Henchman Status Updates awaiting your immediate attention.
Your credit with us is good.
|Henchman Status Update (1 of 5)|
|The status of Maimtron has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: Mech-988, Kill (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): Maimtron, Hurtbot, Woundroid
Join Date: 1-1-01
Primary Role: Robotic Killer
Secondary Role: Blasting, scanning, marching purposefully, exhorting doom.
Specialties: Indefatigableness, 99.9% accuracy with The Scorpion Corporation Lady's Deluxe Anti-Human Blaster, bend bars/lift gates/throttle geese, nude strafing.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Assigned to protect magnetic flask containing pure fearium. Became stuck on a wall and then trapped against a vent. Was discovered and destroyed by a UNFORCE boarding party attempting to recover the fearium and disable the transmission antenna before all of the world's nightmares literally manifested and (more)
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
Candles scented like Destiny planets - increases KDR by 26%!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.