Welcome back, Adverse Interests, LLC. you are now logged in. Thank you for choosing FIST for your staffing needs. We hope OPERATION ASTRO PANIC went well!
You have 5 Henchman Status Updates awaiting your immediate attention.
Your credit with us is good.
|Henchman Status Update (1 of 5)|
|The status of Maimtron has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: Mech-988, Kill (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): Maimtron, Hurtbot, Woundroid
Join Date: 1-1-01
Primary Role: Robotic Killer
Secondary Role: Blasting, scanning, marching purposefully, exhorting doom.
Specialties: Indefatigableness, 99.9% accuracy with The Scorpion Corporation Lady's Deluxe Anti-Human Blaster, bend bars/lift gates/throttle geese, nude strafing.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Assigned to protect magnetic flask containing pure fearium. Became stuck on a wall and then trapped against a vent. Was discovered and destroyed by a UNFORCE boarding party attempting to recover the fearium and disable the transmission antenna before all of the world's nightmares literally manifested and (more)
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.