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|Henchman Status Update (1 of 5)|
|The status of Maimtron has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: Mech-988, Kill (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): Maimtron, Hurtbot, Woundroid
Join Date: 1-1-01
Primary Role: Robotic Killer
Secondary Role: Blasting, scanning, marching purposefully, exhorting doom.
Specialties: Indefatigableness, 99.9% accuracy with The Scorpion Corporation Lady's Deluxe Anti-Human Blaster, bend bars/lift gates/throttle geese, nude strafing.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Assigned to protect magnetic flask containing pure fearium. Became stuck on a wall and then trapped against a vent. Was discovered and destroyed by a UNFORCE boarding party attempting to recover the fearium and disable the transmission antenna before all of the world's nightmares literally manifested and (more)
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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