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|Henchman Status Update (1 of 5)|
|The status of Maimtron has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: Mech-988, Kill (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): Maimtron, Hurtbot, Woundroid
Join Date: 1-1-01
Primary Role: Robotic Killer
Secondary Role: Blasting, scanning, marching purposefully, exhorting doom.
Specialties: Indefatigableness, 99.9% accuracy with The Scorpion Corporation Lady's Deluxe Anti-Human Blaster, bend bars/lift gates/throttle geese, nude strafing.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Assigned to protect magnetic flask containing pure fearium. Became stuck on a wall and then trapped against a vent. Was discovered and destroyed by a UNFORCE boarding party attempting to recover the fearium and disable the transmission antenna before all of the world's nightmares literally manifested and (more)
Time magazine wanted to eliminate a few words. We have a better idea and these words have got to go in 2015.
The 17-century battle between Santa Claus and Satan reaches an unfortunate peak.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.