|Henchman Status Update (2 of 5)|
|The status of Astrachnid has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Spider, Man-eating (DECEASED)|
Join Date: 3-16-05
Primary Role: Space Spider Queen
Secondary Role: Chittering, egg-laying, web-spinning, pedipalping, venom-injecting, intruder mummifying
Specialties: High-bandwidth mating opening allows for rapid reproduction, whistle-trained to not eat human henchmen, can hammer through most bulkheads.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Captured the first UNFORCE assault shuttle to approach Dreadstation. The shuttle became entangled in the nearly-invisible strands of the spider's web. As the spider approached, however, UNFORCE sprung their own trap and detonated the explosives hidden within the shuttle. The spider was killed (more)
The valor pigs have been looking over your uniform and trying to find fault. Time to show them how army is done!
Video games make it socially acceptable to point at Jane
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.