|Henchman Status Update (4 of 5)|
|The status of Negaglenn has been changed from ACTIVE to ANNIHILATED.|
|Name: Glenn, Anti-John (ANNIHILATED)|
Join Date: 2-20-62
Primary Role: Evil Astronaut
Secondary Role: Evil pilot, evil senator, evil dad, evil karaoke expert
Specialties: Just like John Glenn only totally evil and made from antimatter, flying into evil space on evil rockets, re-entering evil atmosphere, starring in evil ticker tape parade.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Outnumbered 20 to 1, Negaglenn met the UNFORCE boarding teams head on. He slit the throats of the first two astrotroopers to assault the control center and used the third to black the gyrogun slugs fired in his direction. He then threw the lifeless, slug-riddled corpse at the boarding team and activated Dreadstation's atomic destruct countdown. Snatching up a gyrogun, he shot and killed three more astrotroopers and retreated into the control center. Before he could seal himself in the control center, he was badly wounded by the remaining UNFORCE men. He killed them, but was wounded again. Drinking blood to regain his strength, Negaglenn was confronted wtih his one true weakness: John Glenn. The aging astronaut was the leader of one of the UNFORCE boarding teams. Negaglenn tried to shoot John Glenn, but he was too weak to properly aim his weapon. Unable to escape, Negaglenn was touched on the hand by John Glenn and both were annihilated instantly in an antimatter reaction that (more)
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.