This article is part of the Reading Time series.
The boy should not be watching the Peek-a-View TV with the dad and Police Man, because it shows love ways that are too old for his eyes. Frankenstein, Jr. has made this attachment to impress a woman robot. They could make baby robots together, but some of them might have dead human body parts because it is part of Frankenstein's family history.
The boy uses his Hot-Dog Detector to find Hot-Dog Stands and steal them. He does this because he knows, as a science person, that hot dogs are bad. They are made out of all the animals, like Dogs of course like the name but also every animal from Reading Time, the goat and the shark and the Strange Creature and the elderly. It is not good to eat so many beasts at once. It makes your stomach a zoo, very dirty and disorderly.
Frankenstein Jr and the boy have found the shack where all hot dogs are made. It looks small from up in the sky, but that is a trick. The real part of the building is mostly underground, just like the Facility. Except there are no animals here, and every animal is there. It is like the Ark in that fairy tale, except everything is dead.
This is the man who makes Hot Dogs. The boy wants to shoot him, because his dad upsets him so much that he likes to do violence. He will set it on "laser," because Hot-Dog Man is not the name of a worthy hero.
I'm Ray Parker Jr, and it's time I came clean.
It is 2016. I think it is high time that Captain America have a dog man as a boyfriend.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Raised and trained in a mysterious facility, piteous brute Stevie seeks answers.