Since I uninstalled Ragnarok Online about eight or nine nanoseconds after I wrote the original article about it, I was afraid I wouldn't have any pictures for this article. Fortunately forum goon Shizuka saved the day, offering some high-quality screenshots of himself confusing the hell out of other people in the game!
Before we proceed to the parade of idiots, be sure to note that my article was not a Truthmedia review, and was not written intentionally to get people to flame SA. In fact, I anticipated a few people might be upset that I was insulting Ragnarok Online for a massive gameplay flaw that all MMORPGs have, so to deter them from emailing me I mentioned that my criticism of the game should be taken with a grain of salt, since I have never enjoyed an MMORPG. However, this paragraph did not stop some people from reaching three highly scientific conclusions.
I made fun of a game from Korea, therefore I hate Koreans.
I did not differentiate between North and South Korea in the article, therefore I am unaware that they are two separate countries.
I insulted Ragnarok Online, therefore I enjoy licking shit and sucking dickcunts (whatever those might be).
With those three points in mind, let’s take a look at the first message from the young and vibrant Derek Seagal, who seamlessly combines a complaint about racism with some very interesting “Everquest is bad too, therefore Ragnarok Online is good” logic. Let’s take a look!
There is a reason why you go to RTC. You are an ignorant person. Korea's pastimes are:
Ruh roh, he’s on to me! You see, by mentioning that people eat dogs in Korea I was actually condemning the entire Korean culture for heinously allowing people to eat a noble creature that inhabits millions of American homes and heroically performs important duties like “shitting on the carpet” and “repeatedly attempting to eat any object smaller than your house.” Most of you readers foolishly thought my comment about dog-eating was a joke, but good ol’ Derek Seagal saw through that facade and realized the horrible, horrible truth: when it looks like I’m reviewing a game, I’m really reviewing an entire race of people! AND THE KOREANS SCORED A ZERO!
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
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