Raver - hey
Raver - whas
Raver - whas up??
Lowtax - Hello friend!
Raver - hey! Whasup??
Lowtax - Just chillin', kickin' the fly pill with my homies, you know!
Raver - kewl. what music u like?
Lowtax - Acid goa techstep happy harcore
Raver - Kewl, like Orbiral and Chemical brocts?
Lowtax - YEAH, just like Chemical Brocts!
Raver - u have a homepage?
Lowtax - Not right now, I'm trying to reserve www.gas4uonline.com for my business.
Raver - what do u do?
Lowtax - I sell gasoline online. We ship diesel, unleaded, regular, and premium right now to anywhere in the US. Soon we'll ship to Canada!
Raver - wow, online? You have youre own buisness?
Lowtax - Yup, we started a couple months ago. I "found" a bunch of barrels of gas, and now I sell it online. You know, in case your car breaks down, you just punch in my web address and we'll FedEx the gas to you ASAP! We're the only business that does this!
Raver - woah kewl, u make a lot of money with this?
Lowtax - Hell yeah, everybody needs gas! If the new governmental bill I sponsered passes, I'll soon be REAL rich!
Raver - Can I help? I know a bit of HTML, I can make your webpage?
Lowtax - You know how to make the color red?
Raver - yeah
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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