If you've ever clicked on an ad that made big promises about mind-blowing content, you've learned that answers to life's biggest questions almost never reveal themselves in the form of sponsored slide-show articles. These straight-forward explanations of the ads' attention-grabbing images won't help you lose weight or reduce your debt either, but at least they're honest about their uselessness!

Applewhite

You will need cosmetic surgery after you fuck up your face with this corrosive goop. Even surgeons jaded by years of accident reconstruction will be horrified.

Applewhite

#1: the Two Headed Devil Dog.
Vets are ill equipped to treat the numerous spinal and digestive problems of this freakish mutant dog.

Applewhite


Police have named a famous actress as a "person of interest" in an ongoing investigation into a series of gown strangulations.

loquacius


Going-Out Tops, the obscure European principality with the odd name, has finally chosen a new monarch: the fictional character Daenerys Targaryen, AKA "Khaleesi," played by Emilia Clarke in the hit HBO series Game Of Thrones. Long live the queen!

Captain Tudmoke

Don't dress up as these fictional characters; they require really uncomfortable shoes.

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.