Mongoose - Yes we kick ass we beat up people every day cuz we are strong, we are gonna kick your ass, i am the strongest
Lowtax - ARE YOU STRONGER THAN TED? he is my next door neighbor, he lifts weights and eats trees
Mongoose - I just came from the police dep, i was arrested for beating up 5 people at once on the way home from sk00l
Lowtax - WOW you must walk a long way home!
Mongoose - I was at work you dumbass i beat up people and they pay me 20,000 a month
Lowtax - WOW you are rich and strong and you smell like the land of wind and ghosts
Mongoose - You are so dead, i am alsonm gonna get one of my hacker firends to hack your pc tkll it doesnt work ahahahhaah
Mongoose - What teh hell are you talking about the wind you motherfucker
Mongoose - Hahahah!HHHAH1 your fucking PC is fucking dead you motherfucker! AAHAHAH
Lowtax - DONT HACK ME I AM PLAYING SOLITAIRE AND AM GOING TO WIN AND DONT BREAK IT THE COMPUTER IS NOT MINE!
Mongoose - Solitaiure you fucking prick ? lpay a real game like Quake3 you motherdfucke4er
Lowtax - Quake3??? is that like Lara Croft?
Mongoose - Quake3 is this bad ass game that owns you, im gonna kcik your ass on any quiake3 server i find if you ever start to play quake3
Mongoose - It isnt lara croft you idiot its TOMB RAIDER AND IT SUCKS
Mongoose- In your face motherfucker!
Lowtax - how do you feel about New Mexico?
Mongoose - I AM GONNA KILL U
Lowtax - PLES DONT
Mongoose - New mexico? wha the hlel???//
Lowtax - DONT KILL ME PLES
Mongoose - Hahahahah!!!! call your firends i wanna kill em too mwhahah!!!!!
Mongoose - Hahahah DIE YOU DUCKBAG
Mongoose - Fucking chicken asswipe cocksucking namby pamby shgitbagh
Lowtax - I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS THEY WONT COME OVER BECAUSE ONE TIME ONE OF THEM WENT TO SLEEP AND I PLACED MY PENIS IN THEIR EAR
Mongoose - Ewww thats sick you stupid fuckgheead
Mongoose - You have a nasty imagination you fucking 7 year old
Lowtax - one time the postman came over and my dad was drunk and he was in the bushes. the postman said "whats wrong with your dad?" and my dad got up and smashed a bottle on his head
Mongoose - Your dad is cool, he is the complete oppositye of you u fucking shitbagshitheadfuck
Mongoose - Even though i know ure lying u piecve of shit
Mongoose - LIES LIES LIES DID YOU FAUKCING TURN ON YOUR MOMMYS PC? GO TO BED THERE ARE MONSTERS AFTER TYOU U FUCKING 7 YEAR OLD HAHA
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.