ChodeKING: how did you meet him
Zack: Remember how I was telling you about Ghost Dad?
Zack: He came through the Mellotron just like Ghost Dad.
ChodeKING: whats he like
Zack: He's a cowboy. He's very rugged and no-nonsense, but he's a bit bewildered by the information age. He's also very excitable and it's his birthday.
ChodeKING: yo tell him happy bday from the C-KING
Zack: Hang on, he's climbing the drapes again.
Zack: Alright, I'm back. I filled a squirt bottle so I can just squirt him with that if he starts acting up again.
ChodeKING: did you tell him happy bday????
Zack: No! We already did his cake and presents. I'm trying to calm him down before bed.
Zack: Look, if you want to clean up cowboy scat and pay for new drapes I'll be happy to get him all worked up over his birthday again. Otherwise, forget it.
ChodeKING: wat presents did yuo get him??
Zack: A William Henry Harrison box kite, a flask of Laudanum, and an iPod Touch preloaded with August Rush and the entire discography of Gary Numan.
Zack: He started crying when he heard "Are 'Friends' Electric?" and we had to take the iPod away from him.
ChodeKING: that sux yo shoulda got him a zune
Zack: Some lessons we learn the hard way, ChodeKING.
ChodeKING: how long have you had him?
Zack: Hang on, he's eating my ficus and the squirt bottle isn't working.
ChodeKING: whats a ficus
Zack: Sorry about that, he was climbing on the keyboard. I think he really wants to talk to you.
ChodeKING: ill talk to him
Zack: Okay, but whatever you do don't mention his birthday. Even if he brings it up!
ChodeKING: what do i do if he does?
Zack: Just change the subject to something else. Talk about cattledrives or Commanche Indians or something.
ChodeKING: dont kno much about those
Zack: That's okay, he loves to talk about them. Alright, I'm putting him on. He may be a little slow, he's never typed before.
Zack: And he's illiterate.
Zack: And he screams if the computer makes a sound or something moves on the screen.
ChodeKING: got it
Zack: Alright, here's the mellotron cowboy...
Over the last few weeks an outnumbered but brave group of men calmly used facts and logic to conclusively prove that women are ruining video games with their lustful object bodies. But there are other threats to everything gamers hold dear.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Our Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.