Mr. Crabs took the further, unwarranted-yet-totally-awesome steps of creating a .rar file and packing it full of amazing goods just for Victor N. King! If you feel slightly jealous, which I can completely understand, feel free to grab yourself a copy by downloading Leonard's package for yourself.
Among other items, Leonard provided Victor N. King with a copy of his latest commercial, which Mr. Crabs wrote, directed, and edited all by himself (with a bit of help from several bottles of perscription medication which may or may not be written in his name). If you're allergic to .rar files, I'll embed this beauty for you right here.
I have not yet heard back from Victor N. King or the Jones Soda Co., so I can only assume they've been spending all their free time watching a neverending loop of Leonard's enchanting commercial. Again, this is where the perscription medication comes in. For a corporation portraying themselves as the little guy, Jones Soda seems more than willing to unleash their lawyers just as fast as larger business rivals. I can only hope and pray Leonard's breathtaking .rar file of justice results in yet another Something Awful legal victory, one which produces a new flavor of Jones Soda. How does "Legal Lemon" sound? Or maybe "Lawsuit Lime?" Oh screw it, let's aim for "Tremendous Asshole Attorney Orange."
All the amazing predictions from The Simpsons that finally came true in 2016.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Many people love to threaten to sue us. Luckily we have both Leonard "J." Crabs and common sense on our side, thus enabling us to easily defeat such trivialities. Remember - when you're on the Internet, you can threaten to sue for anything!