BONUS INFO FOR FANS!


Hey dudes before I fucking forget I found out this new product. This is just a personal plug not like an advertisement because nobody pays me shit for this stupid shit. But yall need to check this shit out:


Looks weird, right? Like a cookie sausage or something, but it tastes EXACTLY like my mom's cookies she used to make and it like comes out like a sausage and then all you do is drop it on a pan and bake it an oven for a while and it makes like this awesome cookie loaf that is brown on the outside and then soft and gooey inside.

Also me and Bodie improversed up this other recipe where you put it in a bowl and microwave it and then it gets crusty and tough on the top but it's soft underneath. We call it cookie pie and we submitted it to foodnetwork.com but so far no show for us. Basically been living off of cookie pie and beast ice which is all bodie fucking buys anymore and I swear to shitting fuck when my back stops hurting I'm going to burn off these pounds I been packing on somehow going to town on his guts with his shirt up on his face like he's trying to read the Ed Hardy copyright mark on his Dagger Crystals Aura Pacific.

– Levi "HOckey" Johnston

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About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

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