Livestock: sometimes it helps to visualize a hippo running towards a goal, fat waddling, smile on its face, sweat pouring down. Then once it reaches that goal, it helps to visualize the hippo on a podium smiling and being awarded a medal.
Moof: it deserves a medal
Livestock: it really does, for running that race
Moof: it was worth it though
Livestock: what do you visualize moof
Moof: an otter
Moof: stuck in a bog
Moof: trying to swim out of the bog
Moof: but sinking
Livestock: that is a nightmare moof
Moof: franticly trying to escape he bog
Livestock: stop moof stop
Moof: but it is sinking
Moof: the bog is winning
Livestock: oh god
Moof: only his head is above now
Livestock: why moof why
Moof: he is trying to escape
Moof: but it is too late
Moof: he sinks
Livestock: oh no
Moof: and the darkness envelops me once again
Livestock: are you okay
Moof: yes that is what I think about
Livestock: oh okay
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.