Livestock: have you ever been to Europe?
Moof: yes once
Moof: for 18 years
Livestock: did you get to see Big Ben?
Moof: yes I did
Moof: well not technically
Moof: because Big Ben is actually the name of the bell not the clock tower
Moof: and I have never seen the bell
Moof: but I saw the clock tower
Livestock: well here's a question
Livestock: how do you know Big Ben was inside the tower?
Moof: I heard it
Moof: coming from the tower
Moof: like this "dong, dong, dong, dong"
Moof: for example that would have been 4 pm
Livestock: how do you know it wasn't a tape recorder?
Moof: no way jose
Livestock: the reason I ask you that
Livestock: is because if Big Ben is indeed inside the tower
Livestock: THEN WHAT IS THIS GIANT BELL NAMED BIG BEN DOING IN MY ROOM?
Moof: OH GOD
Moof: DOES THE QUEEN KNOW
Livestock: I don't know but I have to feed it again
Livestock: oh god it won't let me be
Livestock: curse this bell, curse the demon that forged it in the fires of hell
Moof: what are you trying to feed it
Moof: it eats hay
Moof: like a horse
Moof: sometimes oats
Moof: but not in the morning!!!!!
Livestock: I am feeding it apples
Livestock: and a leg of lamb
Livestock: is that okay
Livestock: to feed it that?
Moof: yes I suppose
Moof: if it will eat it
Livestock: I'm gonna mate it with the Liberty Bell and have baby bells. :)
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.