Livestock: have you ever been to Europe?
Moof: yes once
Moof: for 18 years
Livestock: did you get to see Big Ben?
Moof: yes I did
Moof: well not technically
Moof: because Big Ben is actually the name of the bell not the clock tower
Moof: and I have never seen the bell
Moof: but I saw the clock tower
Livestock: well here's a question
Livestock: how do you know Big Ben was inside the tower?
Moof: I heard it
Moof: coming from the tower
Moof: like this "dong, dong, dong, dong"
Moof: for example that would have been 4 pm
Livestock: how do you know it wasn't a tape recorder?
Moof: no way jose
Livestock: the reason I ask you that
Livestock: is because if Big Ben is indeed inside the tower
Livestock: THEN WHAT IS THIS GIANT BELL NAMED BIG BEN DOING IN MY ROOM?
Moof: OH GOD
Moof: DOES THE QUEEN KNOW
Livestock: I don't know but I have to feed it again
Livestock: oh god it won't let me be
Livestock: curse this bell, curse the demon that forged it in the fires of hell
Moof: what are you trying to feed it
Moof: it eats hay
Moof: like a horse
Moof: sometimes oats
Moof: but not in the morning!!!!!
Livestock: I am feeding it apples
Livestock: and a leg of lamb
Livestock: is that okay
Livestock: to feed it that?
Moof: yes I suppose
Moof: if it will eat it
Livestock: I'm gonna mate it with the Liberty Bell and have baby bells. :)
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.