Moof: i do not understand how any smart individual can believe in evolution
Moof: it infuriates me
Moof: trying to tell me that a turtle evolved from a rock!!
Moof: what am i stupid??
Livestock: and yet, 9 times out of 10, turtles are mistaken for rocks
Livestock: are we to believe that it is just chance that turtles and rocks look alike??/
Moof: that is how the theory of evolution started
Moof: livestock god
Moof: just because a dog looks like a hog
Livestock: have you forgotten about darwin's finches
Moof: doesnt mean that a dog is a hog!
Livestock: each one has a different beak for hitting different musical notes
Livestock: they had to evolve so that they could do greater musical numbers
Moof: actually darwin shaped the beaks himself with a chisel
Livestock: do you have proof of this
Moof: do you have proof of evolution???
Livestock: do you know what fossil records are
Livestock: they show that turtles came from rocks
Moof: the only true science is the science of our lord jesus
Livestock: how else do skeletons get inside rocks unless rocks were at one time alive???
Moof: god put skeletons in rocks to test our faith
Moof: i don't mind though it is just more room in heaven for me!
Livestock: moof i will throw rocks at your god
Livestock: and you as well
Moof: would you teach your children that horses evolved form oats??
Moof: what a ridiculous concept
Livestock: i don't think you understand evolution, you dumb creationist
Livestock: horses did not evolve from oats they evolved from ponies
Livestock: simple organisms evolve into more complex ones
Livestock: ponies are simpler than horses
Moof: if horses evolved form ponies then what did ponies evolve from
Livestock: at one point ponies evolved from dogs
Livestock: dogs evolved from cats
Livestock: cats from rats
Livestock: rats from mice
Moof: haha then what!
Livestock: mice from hairy spiders
Moof: it all had to start somewhere!!
Livestock: yes moof the big bang
Moof: your theory is a terrible one
Moof: livestock you are so dumb
Moof: just because there is a scientific explanation with mountains of proof supporting it does not mean it is right
Moof: because it is complicated
Moof: god would make things simple not complicated
Moof: use occam's razor
Livestock: moof god made rainbows to tell people there would be no more floods
Livestock: next he'll destroy the earth with fire :)
Moof: actually he made them to tell people where gold is buried
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.