Hydrogen: Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be shirtless, retarded cowboys.
Trillaphon: Ray Dennis Steckler is famous for his portrayal of bleak pastoral landscapes and stoic gay cowboys.
Hydrogen: If that was actually true, he'd have like 19 Sundance awards.
Trillaphon: Don't you go in that old house, the Chooper will get you!
Hydrogen: Oh, okay, thanks. Well, I'm going over to the old house then.
Trillaphon: Old house?! Don't you go in there, that's where the Chooper lives! He'll get you!
Hydrogen: The Chooper, huh? Whew, that was a close one. Okay, I'm off to the old house, see you later! *dies*
Trillaphon: I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE CHOOPER AND HIS PATTERN OF GETTING PEOPLE! I WARNED YOU!
Hydrogen: So was that the power of the evil Chooper that blew his hat off during the big "Chooper house" soliloquy at the end, or were the forces of nature just actively trying to sabotage the production?
Trillaphon: You just can't leave a performance that electrifying on the cutting-room floor, falling hats be damned.
Hydrogen: Certainly not, especially if you only sprung for 60 minutes worth of film.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.