Hydrogen: Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be shirtless, retarded cowboys.
Trillaphon: Ray Dennis Steckler is famous for his portrayal of bleak pastoral landscapes and stoic gay cowboys.
Hydrogen: If that was actually true, he'd have like 19 Sundance awards.
Trillaphon: Don't you go in that old house, the Chooper will get you!
Hydrogen: Oh, okay, thanks. Well, I'm going over to the old house then.
Trillaphon: Old house?! Don't you go in there, that's where the Chooper lives! He'll get you!
Hydrogen: The Chooper, huh? Whew, that was a close one. Okay, I'm off to the old house, see you later! *dies*
Trillaphon: I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE CHOOPER AND HIS PATTERN OF GETTING PEOPLE! I WARNED YOU!
Hydrogen: So was that the power of the evil Chooper that blew his hat off during the big "Chooper house" soliloquy at the end, or were the forces of nature just actively trying to sabotage the production?
Trillaphon: You just can't leave a performance that electrifying on the cutting-room floor, falling hats be damned.
Hydrogen: Certainly not, especially if you only sprung for 60 minutes worth of film.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.