Trillaphon: Comrade Tentacles and the Commie Love-In Experience Invade Brooklynmerica.
Hydrogen: Beneath the inevitable sickeningly happy ending is a really terrific moral: if only we killed all the whalers, no boat would ever sink again! Hooray!
Trillaphon: I thought the moral was that you should never believe anyone who says that a bunch of people died when the Titanic sank and instead an armada of magic talking whales miracling everyone away to safety they just sort of drowned or froze to death, and you should also probably call that person a liar and publicly humiliate them with your illuminating Titanic knowledge.
Hydrogen: Of course, apparently nobody ever dies in a shipwreck, so who gives a fuck really?
Trillaphon: Whiskers the Mouse died. He gave a fuck. He gave a fuck like you wouldn't even believe. A fuck you couldn't possibly understand. And that's why he's a hero for all ratkind, and how this bottle of bourbon got into my hand.
Hydrogen: He's giving a fuck with the rat baby Jesus now.
Trillaphon: Okay, so, the idea here is that dolphins and rats and shit are all so intelligent that they can plan, orchestrate, and execute elaborate intelligence and counter-espionage operations, organize literal fleets of the largest and most powerful animals on earth etc...
Trillaphon: ...yet the entire premise is 'oh no, the poor helpless whales are going to get hunted by the mean greedy men whose entire life we could destroy in a second with a couple gerbil squeaks to radio in an airstrike of 90 ton death seagulls'.
Hydrogen: Alright, I'm changing my answer, that's the real moral of the movie.
|Music / Sound||-8|
How can we better be sold to by multinational corporations?
They told us to stop playing videogames on a school night. If only we'd ignored them.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.