Hydrogen: Taking romantic advice from that guy seems kind of like asking Michael Cera for bodybuilding tips.
Trillaphon: Either way somebody's going to end up popping a major artery like a Capri Sun bag and having uncontrollable sobbing issues for the rest of their lives. At this rate I'm guessing it'll probably be me.
Hydrogen: Recon 2024: The Capri Sun Massacre.
Hydrogen: "Hey, my name's First Base, I got that name for being a virgin manchild but even though I touched a boob since then I can't seem to shake it. Do you think it's because I introduce myself as 'First Base' to every single person I fucking meet?"
Trillaphon: Craigslist > Gauda > Personals > 38 y/o virgin/pathological masturbator seeks deeply broken self-hating wingman for nsa vascular hetero locker room banter/nasty pump sesh, ps no fatties/no homo 420 tiki friendly mahalo hoorah ;).
Hydrogen: If I ever start to act or speak even remotely like any of these characters, you need to promise to kill me swiftly and mercilessly.
Trillaphon: Oh in that case I'd do it whether you asked me to or not; shit, after 3 of these movies I'm surprised we haven't both already turned into Lance Corporal Hodor back there drooling and beating his fists/face against the wall.
Hydrogen: Oh there's still time for that.