It never ends. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever.

The Jediism Way

"NO MOM, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHURCH WITH YOU ANYMORE! I WANT TO STAY HOME AND WATCH STAR WARS!" And so Jediism was born. They think they're Jedis for real.

I felt a great disturbance in the force, as if thousands of voices suddenly cried out in terror. Perhaps "Doragon Reklaw" was at a ballgame and was seen on the Jumbotron.

I'll bet "the rest is a blur" because somebody dropped their glasses in a bucket of the Colonel's original recipe.

Mom's gonna freak, batteries are expensive.

This can't be healthy for anyone involved.

Dearest God, Jesus,
George Lucas or Darth Vader

Please make Magdelene pretty
So boys will not hate her

Amen

Yeah, I totally did the Vulcan nerve pinch on a guy once and it definitely worked because he said "Ow."

I now pronounce you gaylord and dorkette, you may now kiss the dorkette.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.