"Can I have new fries?"
"Welp, fine" you say, turning around. Looks like you have to burn this place to the ground.
You watch the place collapse under the flames while sipping the last of your root beer. The firefighters are struggling to get people out. Oh look at the time. The Obama rally is about to start.
Go to the Rally
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.