You dump out your shitty fries onto the table, and then meticulously smash them with your fingers while dumping the salt and pepper shakers on top. You slide the tomato and lettuce off your burger and mix them into the flat mess. Once a thick paste is formed, you fashion a pinch-pot, and then fill it with root beer and honey mustard. You smack the shit down onto the table, causing the food to spatter around. A little piece flies into your face. Without thinking, you wipe it into your mouth. Whoa. Delicious. You eat your soup up off the table and floor before going back for seconds. Perhaps, just maybe, you've found nirvana.
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.