You follow the agent into the restaurant. She scurries into the restroom and immediately closes herself into a stall. You scurry in after her when you get a chance. What is she doing in there? Changing her disguise? Radioing home base? Peeing? Pooping? Who knows? Wait, wait, she is definitely pooping. Ugh. You better get out of here before she calls for backup. A sign for the new Double Angus Smoke House Burger with Cheese entices you, your mouth starts to water, and in less than five minutes you have forgetten about the potential agent.
Eventually, you get your food. You spread out on the little table, Biggie Root Beer, Biggie French Fries, a Frostie Jr., your big ass burger, and a few extra Honey Mustards for dipping. Mmmm, is there anything in life more enjoyable than your first French Fry?
Wait, what the fuck? What is this mushy trash? What kind of self-respecting worker would serve this garbage? Do they expect me to suffer through this? Hell no. Hell no.
Ask for new ones
Make a mess
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.