The countryside looked beautiful as you sped down the highway and it continued looking beautiful at a complete standstill as you pull the vehicle off the side of the road. Probably should have checked the fuel gage before starting a road trip. Unsure of what to do you set a few flares down in the road because it is what you see other cars do. You wait for a few hours before shooting a flare into the air, more out of boredom than desperation. Why does your mother have a flare gun in her Geo Tracker? Too late to ask now. The flames diminish as they fall to the ground. You slump over in your seat, bored out of your mind before noticing a man covered in tattoos and wearing an orange prison suit walking out of the woods.
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Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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