You'd rather be exhausted from bike riding than dig around your mother's pant pockets. Probably a good decision. You pull the bike out and open the garage door only to hear Hotel California blaring from the car. Looks like your mom left it running all night long.
You hop in the car. Looks like things are turning around. While wooting at your good luck you notice that your breath still smells like the Cool Ranch Doritos from last night. You contemplate making an important decision in which your path could go either way, but decide that there is no time for brushing your teeth today. Instead, you pull the car out of the garage and start off down the road. A great journey is about to start.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
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