The Day You've Been Waiting For...
Yes ladies and gents, the day has finally arrived. The day you've been waiting for. We here at Something Awful are proud to present our first full-length promotional video... "Derek Smart's Desktop Commander!"
Yup, since we're in a tight money crunch here (thanks to various companies we work for failing to pay us any money they owe), we have taken it upon ourselves to start creating promotional videos for new and exciting upcoming games. Our first video is a 3-minute promotion for Derek Smart's upcoming title, "Derek Smart's Desktop Commander," one of the many titles Dr. Smart has produced that crashes you to your desktop upon loading. However, in Derek's defense, his titles do have the best and most realistic Windows desktop crashes that I've ever seen. I mean, when I'm loading up one of his games and it suddenly crashes to what appears to be my desktop, I have to admit that it looks EXACTLY LIKE MY REGULAR DESKTOP SCREEN! It's uncanny how he's able to faithfully replicate Windows down to the tiniest command. Heck, you can even load other games while his Desktop Commander title is running! How many other games can claim to do that, huh?
Anyway, I hope this video marks the beginning of a long and fruitful advertising future for Something Awful! If it doesn't, well, no big loss there; I'm used to producing things and not getting paid for them!
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The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.