I can't even look at you.MR: Annie, what are we going to do now?

AC: Oh we are doing what they call "money shots" in the industry

AC: We?

AC: Yea, you and me are going to be on the receiving end

MR: That sounds bad

AC: Oh no, it's fun and easy, you just have to sit there and the men ejaculate on your face

MR: Hmm, I usually pride myself on my ability to finish any job, but I don't feel comfortable finishing a handjob. What kind of protection does the director give you?

AC: Well, I guess some girls close their eyes

MR: I'm going to put on my biohazard suit; actually, I don't want to do this at all, I'll just watch the masters at work

MR: Wow, that was terrible looking. Annie why do you subject yourself to this?

Director: Quiet!

MR: (whispering) Oh, I guess they aren't done. Oh good lord. What are they doing? Is that legal? Ugh. That's disgusting! You're just a human toilet!

Director: Cut! This asshole just ruined the scene, we'll have to re-film the whole thing!

(Annie burps and smiles)

MR: Ugh, I feel sickCuts out]

At that point I passed out, hitting the camera on the way to the floor. All remaining crew members left, so the clip ends there. I woke up four days later in the local hospital. I suffered a concussion, but the doctors were unable to discover a reason for the short coma. I imagine my soul was trying to kill itself for witnessing such actions. I'm just glad to be alive, and not spending my days being exploited! I've done some of the worlds dirtiest and most dangerous jobs in the past, but that was easily the most repugnant job yet.

I hope you all enjoyed this special feature. I'm sure you'll look at your desk job in a whole new light.

– Ian "Salmon Season" Golding (@iggolding)

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