The clock hits him in the face, and he falls over. Blood flows out of his mouth and into his patchy facial hair. You shove his limp body out of the way and grab the paper. It's five pages, one more than necessary. Nerd Jacobs is truly magnificent. His power is so great that you regret your decision. What if he wakes up? He will curse you forever, and he will never help you with antivirus things ever again. Should you make sure that he never wakes again?
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.