You search the party looking for Zoey. The two of you grew up together, and maybe she could hook you up with some bitty. You wander all around the place, and ask if anyone has seen her. Though you don't find her, you do see two passed out girls' panties, so the search isn't completely worthless. Well, if she isn't here, then you might as well sift through her bedroom.
You open on the door expecting to steal some of her sexy, worn clothes, but are surprised to see her there. She looks up from the keyboard, and says hi. You come up with some excuse, something lame, you were worried that you hadn't seen her or something. You mention date rape like it's a bad thing, and not your most successful way at meeting chicks. She says thanks, but she's just finishing the paper for Mr. Wilson's class. It's worth 40% of your grade, you know? No, you didn't.
Top 10 Billionaires in the World? Most Powerful People in Tech? We've seen lists just like these for decades now. Recent features like Best Billionaires Under 40 have attempted to shake things up by getting more specific, but they need to go even further.
RT mobile games reviewer Jeff Glukhov quits RT after being forced to give pro-Russian reviews to various iPhone and Android games.
Kurt Cobain and gang finally learn the truth behind Morton Downey's evil scheme.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.