Worthless DadYou go check out the old lady, and, get this, she's hurt. She's crying about needing help and calling 911, says her daughter is in the car, but who knows? Who cares? You aren't planning on crawling into her filthy piece of shit. You tell her to be quiet for a second while you call your dad on your iPhone. It's peak time, so you keep losing the call, but you get the picture: he won't represent you in court. Thanks dad. Why be a lawyer if you can't help your son? Douche bag.
You start walking away, but a pig comes up and starts bothering you, and in, like, ten minutes, he has you in handcuffs. Looks like you won't get your paper finished, but it isn't your fault. It's just the Man holding you down.
With an average of 40 IPAs added every day, it can be difficult to taste them all
Apparently you do want to be lonely, because you defied the one rule of Farmers Only.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.