Worthless DadYou go check out the old lady, and, get this, she's hurt. She's crying about needing help and calling 911, says her daughter is in the car, but who knows? Who cares? You aren't planning on crawling into her filthy piece of shit. You tell her to be quiet for a second while you call your dad on your iPhone. It's peak time, so you keep losing the call, but you get the picture: he won't represent you in court. Thanks dad. Why be a lawyer if you can't help your son? Douche bag.
You start walking away, but a pig comes up and starts bothering you, and in, like, ten minutes, he has you in handcuffs. Looks like you won't get your paper finished, but it isn't your fault. It's just the Man holding you down.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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