Worthless DadYou go check out the old lady, and, get this, she's hurt. She's crying about needing help and calling 911, says her daughter is in the car, but who knows? Who cares? You aren't planning on crawling into her filthy piece of shit. You tell her to be quiet for a second while you call your dad on your iPhone. It's peak time, so you keep losing the call, but you get the picture: he won't represent you in court. Thanks dad. Why be a lawyer if you can't help your son? Douche bag.
You start walking away, but a pig comes up and starts bothering you, and in, like, ten minutes, he has you in handcuffs. Looks like you won't get your paper finished, but it isn't your fault. It's just the Man holding you down.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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