Oh, you thought when Ace of Cakes got cancelled by the Food TV shits, good ol' fun-loving Duff was going to curl up in his cargo shorts and die on his oversized fat guy skateboard? Huh?

Think again. There's a reason I have a shirt that says "COOLEST CAKE GUY" on the front and on the back it says "BACK OFF" and has a picture of shades. Duff is back in business, and I've teamed up with Blue Bunny ice cream to bring you the one thing I have left in this world that isn't a fucking lie made out of Food Network shit: cake. Inside ice cream.

Remember that time when the Girl Scouts of America wanted me to make them a cake? Yeah, well now guess who is lining up for this cake acing? Big blue dollar bills.

You want some Carrot Cake with cream cheese frosting? Yeah, no problem.

That shit looked exactly like a Gobot before I dumped it into the ice cream machine. Trust me. Now it looks like stomach contents at an autopsy.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.