This article is part of the The Great Authors Series series.



The media misled the majority and so it was that they formed the Core States. The states that resisted called themselves the True Bloc and the people who believed were known as the Originalists.

Marriage, said Hugh Gimrech, was only between one man and one woman. Any other combination undermined the foundation of not just America, but all of human civilization. The majority disagreed. The courts disagreed. The President, posing with same-sex couples, signed the gay marriage Amendment into the Constitution.

"It was the Greeks who invented sodomy," said Jonathan from the hatch of his APC.

"But the Core States perfected it," finished Tila.

The APC's motor rumbled and the armored vehicle prowled through the ruins of Chicago. High Commander Gimrech had won a great victory there, but homoist agitators remained behind. They believed in nothing but gayness and were willing to give up their lives to preserve their repulsive unions. Their desperation made them dangerous.

"Stay frosty," said Tila.

"You know, the Greeks did do one thing right," said Jonathan.

"Democracy?"

"No," he laughed. "Look how that has turned out. No. They have combined creamy rich yogurt with sweet honey caramel."

"Sounds good," said Tila.

"Look out!" cried Jonathan, throwing the pint of delicious yogurt aside as a rocket team of homosexuals emerged from the rubble. The APC's turret swiveled and the 25mm gun fired. Tila stayed on them using the thermal imager. Their bodies burst apart and the rockets exploded harmlessly.

"Good kill," said, Jonathan. "Now, let's swing by the ruins of that grocery store and see if they have some more Greek Yogurt."


Zack is the author of the new short story collection Wages: Future Tales of a Hired Gun, a blood-soaked satire of private military contracting. He is also the author of the genre-hopping novel Liminal States, soon to be available as an audiobook. You can find out more about Zack's latest projects and special offers on his Facebook page.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About this series

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful