This article is part of the The Great Authors Series series.



"Word of Wisdom," said Rikkam. "Stay away from the caffeine."

Paros scowled. Rikkam's punch sent the bully flying through the hatch and knocked him into the bathroom tiles. Paros had been a fool to eat three dishes of sweet espresso-juiced ice cream from the meal unit.

His reflexes were wound too tightly and he was insufferably hyper. Rikkam stood over his fallen classmate. He thought about offering Paros a hand, but it was better that Paros pull himself up.

"Was that ice cream worth it?"

Paros was sullen. He lifted his head and wiped blood from the corner of his mouth.

"Yes. It was the most delicious coffee ice cream I have ever tasted, with rich espresso fudge pieces that melted in my mouth. I would do it all over again."

Rikkam gave Paros a sad shake of his head.

"Anyone can make a mistake. Only fools make the same mistake twice." Rikkam left Paros naked on the bathroom floor without saying another word.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

About this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.