Well, we met on the Internet and everything was going great. After dinner we went back to his place and he held my eyes open with a couple of those Clockwork Orange clamps and then...nothing...a drizzle at best. It was terrible. He tried drinking a bottled water, some caffeine pills, nothing like the scalding fire hose of eye piss he promised on his bio.
File this one under "Sounded Good at the Time." I have a feeling the instant that jaw goes pop things are going to take a turn.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.