Well, we met on the Internet and everything was going great. After dinner we went back to his place and he held my eyes open with a couple of those Clockwork Orange clamps and then...nothing...a drizzle at best. It was terrible. He tried drinking a bottled water, some caffeine pills, nothing like the scalding fire hose of eye piss he promised on his bio.
File this one under "Sounded Good at the Time." I have a feeling the instant that jaw goes pop things are going to take a turn.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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