This article is part of the The Great American Reach Around series.
The days of the Great American Reach Around are numbered and the series is very nearly over! With only three exciting installments left it's time for you, the reader, to step up and volunteer your time to represent your state. In our next feature we will be taking a look at California and we need volunteers! If you live in California, own a camera, and can write above the fourth grade level, then I want you to email me and tell me why you should be covering your home town in our next issue.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.