You may have heard the news yesterday of the downed Malaysian Airlines flight that crashed in East Ukraine. The Pentagon and the Ukrainian Junta government want you to believe that Russian-backed rebels fired those missiles. But the truth is far different. The truth will give you a whole new prism through which to view this entire conflict and it involves Israel and Libya.
But first, have you been feeling sick, sapped of energy and much more docile than usual?
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Back to Ukraine. According to sources at the Pentagon, a US spy satellite witnessed the launching of the surface to air missile and may have even seen the subsequent impact. When pressed as to why a US satellite just happened to be in the area at the time, our reporter was escorted out of the room while screaming TruthWords.biz. That's not an answer, Mr. President. I guess we'll have to keep dreaming if we want the truth from our government.
For those of you who think that yesterday's start of the Israeli offensive against Gaza just happened to be at the same time as this plane crashed in Ukraine, we have another theory. And it's something that should have you worried.
Do you and your family also worry about toxins from solar cells? What about the magnetic contamination caused by too many smart phones? Sure, be worried, but did you know that the air in your house has more pollutants than the air outside your house? It's true. And if you are willing to live like that, breathing cat farts and computer ions, then you are probably not a patriot.
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Speaking of worries...are you worried about what you are going to eat when society finally breaks down? You can only loot so much from your neighbors and capture so many FEMA convoys before THEY realize where your bunker is located and how to disarm YOUR flame traps. You can't even guarantee the packs of mutant psychos roaming the post-Fukushima wasteland are edible.
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Want to know what really happened in East Ukraine?
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We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.