I can't decide if the recent anonymous secrets thread was one of the best or the worst things to happen to the forums. On one hand, I now have details about how terrible and disgusting some of the people I know are. Then on the other hand, I now have details about how terrible and disgusting some of the people I know are.

Lay that blob of sagging, spotted flesh you call a body next to me, babe.

Oh all right man, thanks for clearing that one up.

A friend of mine once told me over the phone that he "ownzored" something and after that call I avoided talking to him for like a month.

Anger is not a good gift this holiday season. In fact, anger is the worst possible gift you could give (besides a stocking full of those giant pink peanut-shaped marshmallow candies).

The disgusting sexual habits of the future... today!

He probably left his keys over there or something.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.