13. The Pringles Face

On its lips a silent scream. We could not kill it, but its power had to be contained.

12. Hypercolor Shirts

You have seen what variations in temperature can do to these shirts. Imagine what they will do under 60 atmospheres of pressure.

11. Donkey Kong Country

Hegel has foreseen the end of history. Beyond cities. After the fall of all nations. A new order will rise with impressive 3D/2D graphics.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.